Music Lessons with Rose Sage
Its that time of the year again...yes....its Christmas!
Friday, December 8, 2017 by Rose Sage | Fun
Christmas preparations are well under way, everyone is racing around buying presents, wrapping paper, food, Christmas trees, mince pies and trying to fit it all in before the big day! There are Christmas concerts emanating from every school and theatre throughout the land. Well, just for a moment sit yourself down, take a rest and enjoy this rather laid back and ‘different’ take on a well known Christmas favourite....enjoy... ? ?
Hilarious advert for a piccolo for sale.
Sunday, November 12, 2017 by Rose Sage | Fun
This is an actual, currently active Craigslist ad for a piccolo. Comedy worth reading, musician or not.
"They call the trumpet "God's Instrument." The instrument that takes a month to learn and a lifetime to master. Forget that. I'm giving you the chance to own "Satan's Instrument." The instrument that takes a second to hate and a lifetime to get used to. If your goal is world domination, getting the ball rolling on the apocalypse, or simply disarming someone who's a little too "rapey," this miniature flute of terror will hold the game down. And how:
Brought to you by Lucifer himself, this Bundy bpc-300 Piccolo will serve his evil minion well. From it's compact arthritis-inducing body this pipe will unleash a sound that can bring entire crowds of people to their knees in pain and surrender. If you're thinking of starting a bloody coup, leave the AK-47s and sarin gas at home son, this picc is all you need.
This instrument has the ability to sing an A five lines above the staff so crisp and clear that if you're not careful may actually cleave your conductor's brain clean in half. It's highest note is one only dogs can hear, that composers have dubbed "X."
Apart from the oboe, this is the only instrument able to kick a field goal of pain right between the goal posts of your unfortunate target's neurons, resulting in synaptic misfires, blown mental fuses, and a complete breakdown of all left brain activity, leaving the right brain to writhe in pain and confusion whilst scrambling all bodily motor functions. Any soul unlucky enough to wind up on the business end of Beezulbub's piccolo will instantly be reduced to the fetal position and revoked of their right to free will.
Aside from violating several Geneva Convention protocols, this wailing weaponry can produce frequencies that wreak havoc upon others by causing:
-- sudden unexpected nosebleeds
-- aphasia
-- heart palpitations
-- aneurisms
-- loss of sanity
-- unexplainable rage
-- spontaneous combustion
-- abandonment of the will to live
-- anal leakage
It's a common mistake to think that the piccolo also has side effects on it's user. Many claim it causes acute narcissism, but in reality the only people drawn to this instrument are already delusionally narcissistic, have serial killer tendencies, and show traits as promising future dictators.
Since I'm livin' the dream, I'm retiring from my reign of terror and passing on the torch. Being evil is an arduous, exhaustive effort, and this musical scepter cannot be played by your average whitebread vanilla villain. Only the most cunning, dextrous, morally ambiguous, and questionably sane may apply. Who among you is worthy?
-200 OBO Pickup in Redmond "
